rain. . .

wishing the rain can wash away all these feeling inside my heart...
take it away to the place where it can shout so loudly,
without feeling affraid of rejection or shy or anything like that,
shouting so honestly those phrase that I can't ever say to you,

"I love you. . ."

Once the love started, it's so damn hard to reverse it.

Even if it is not deep enough yet, still when it aches, it hurt so much.

Or maybe, the thing that make it hurt so much is because I know deep inside his heart, there's someone, who is not me, filling up the heart with both love and pain, yet he still keep her tight inside his heart.

Because he loves her too much, he just can't let her go like that, even if the pain in his heart grow bigger and bigger everyday.

A fool with his foolish love. But somehow I do envy that kind of love. To enduring those pain while hoping for the one you love come back to you, it isn't something that easy to do.

Compared to that kind of love, mine looks so small and worthless. It is maybe not even enough to be use for loving him afterall.

And so I need to stop this heart for loving him too much. Without any confidence left and not even a glimps of courage to honestly confess it to him, why should I continue?

But then again, can I really stop this heart for loving him?


and so without even washing away these feeling, the rain has stopped.